a starless sky

Story 6/52

-----

a starless sky

And as she fell down the sky, she realized that no earth or moon or sun could ever bring her back to grace. She was done. There would be no thinking again, no believing that it's all right. This fall would follow her for the rest of her existence.

------

I was told to put my messed up emotions into photos. I guess this is what came out. It's mostly related to the loss of innocence that comes with the first panic/anxiety attacks. You realize your life is never going to be the same again, because you'll always have that cloud over you, the possibility of everthing going horribly wrong due to a crisis.

I don't know. I'm just not very optimistic today.

structured

Story 5/52

----

structured

A structure too rigid can be the death of you. Let yourself go and enjoy your day. Don't think about what's to come. It's the now that matters.

----

I have a skeleton! I finally have a skeleton! 

I can finally start working on the series I've had planned since April! But of course, I had to use it for my weekly shot, instead. I do like it, though. 

my autumn

I'm not usually a fan of the Fall. I prefer the Spring, when everything feels new, or the Summer, when I can run and take my bicycle and wear tiny dresses. I usually equate the Fall and the Winter with rain, with depression and loneliness. 

Maybe it's because I'm neither. Maybe it's because I'm okay, even with a few mood swings; I'm working as a dessert chef at my dad's restaurant, I'm taking pictures, I have my garden and my 52 Stories and my NaNoWriMo almost starting. So I'm good. And being good allows me to appreciate the things I don't normally do — which is exactly what I've been doing these days. 

I spent my afternoon, yesterday, taking care of my garden. I trimmed the tomato bush (oh goodness!), tied the tallest plants to sticks (I have a cucumber branch that is taller than I am!) and moved things around to give them space to grow. I also picked a handful of tomatoes and chili peppers, as well as an eggplant! I have eggplants!

Today, after having lunch with my friend J, I came home and started my tiny herb garden. I've had a lot of offerings from people around me, mostly for small herbs, like mint or basil, so I filled up a vase with dirt and now I have thyme, rosemary and parsley growing. I'm now waiting for other plants people might give me. *hint hint*

I had some time this afternoon, so I decided to try to knit a sleeve for my new mug. Huh. No. I dropped it after three lines because I got sleepy. That's how lousy my concentration ability is these days. I'm like a fly, looking — OH SPARKLY STUFF.

I think I bought this book when I was in my first years of college. I remember skimming through it, but today I actually sat and read it. It's lovely. Of course, completely outdated and almost whimsical at times. But still cute.

I have a thing for tea. Especially if it's in a pretty mug with a pretty filter. This is cinnamon tea, one of my favorites. All I was missing was a mint leaf, but I guess I'll have those soon enough. 

Have a blessed rest of week! I hope your Autumn days are filled with beauty and wonder. 

behind the scenes of [tangled up in beauty]

When I started to use this blog more often, I challenged myself to post more behind the scenes shots, from my more elaborate shoots. sadly, I haven't been able to do much of that; either because I'm busy or because I shoot in a hurry (this start of project has been bumpy, to say the least), I hadn't had the chance to do it yet. Well, here is the first BTS of this 52 Stories Project. I hope you like the photos; let me know what you think, whether you have any suggestions of how I can improve my work. I've been in a funk for a little while and I can't wait to get out of it.

More pictures under the cut!

I managed to pull a glass out of my grandmother's chandelier, where I hung the lace curtain. Of course, I used it as a prop at some point. 

My mom and sister gave me this dress for my birthday. Apparently, everyone but Gabs thought I'd hate  this dress and she threw a tantrum saying she wanted to get it for me. I absolutely love it! It's one of the most beautiful dresses I own. So thanks Mom and Gabs!

tangled up in beauty

Story 4/52

tangled up in beauty

She liked to get tangled up in lace.

It gave her the feeling of being wrapped up in a warm embrace of pink and fabric and the smell of softener. Ever since she was little, she liked to hide in the linnen closet.

So she did that, still. She hanged lace from the ceiling and played with it when she could; tangling it up, wrapping it around herself and marveling at how bright it looked against her skin, stained by the red of her lips.

It was of a beauty she could not contain or explain.

photomaton (or the way a city changes you)

Every time I go out on a journey, I come back a little bit different. And I usually do a photo shoot just to keep a memory of that change to myself. 

This time, in Berlin, I grew. I had never roamed a city alone, had never been on a new and strange subway, had never spent time alone in a place I didn't know as well as the back of my hand. Having a big family will do that to you: you end up always traveling with someone. Whether an aunt or a cousin or a grandparent, you're never alone. But I did all that in Berlin, and absolutely loved it. Of course, there were other things making my trip an absolute delight. Love. Laughter. A new and wondrous place. But I feel like my ability to spend time alone was what changed me the most. That, and having a pair of arms to come back to at the end of my tiny adventures in town, waiting for me just around the corner, telling me I could do it and holding my hand when I thought I couldn't. So yeah. It was a good trip. I think these pictures show exactly that. 

More pictures after the cut, if you're in the mood for some shameless and childish self promotion. I do think I have a new facebook picture, though. 

Berlin, day three — Potsdam

Last wednesday, while all of Germany celebrated the unification day, Lina and I headed to Potsdam to visit an online friend. We got to spend the day with the wonderful Jeanne and have a blast walking through the Sanssouci Park, visiting the center of the city and shooting tiny dishes at a carnival (but that was just me!), winning prizes for my lovely.

I hope you enjoy these photos as well. I have a blast preparing them to post here, to share my good times with you; it's part of what makes my work so wonderful, that I get to tell you guys about it. Thank you so much for continuously visiting, commenting and talking to me. It makes my days so much brighter.

Anyway. Enough sap, here are the photos!

Trip to Potsdam beyond the cut! 

The one on the right was taken by Jeanne.

we're children. no use in denying. 

hearts/spades

taken by Lina

taken by Lina

guerrilla knitting! (or as I called it, gorilla knitting. and then proceeded to giggle for the rest of the afternoon)

this is where we decided that it was confirmed that God loves Gays. there's a freaking rainbow up there. I don't need any more proof.

I just had to. I hadn't picked up a rifle in years, and it was amazing. I even won a heart for my darling! Ha! (the pic was taken by Lina)

to finish the day, I went with Lina and her family to an epic handball game! It was so incredible. Noisy, quick and fun! I loved it. Absolutely loved it.